the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
