Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize