Nicole vs. Life
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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