Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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