butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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