I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
