I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
