I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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