so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
