Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
