the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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