does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
