remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
