Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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