It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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