As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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