Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize