I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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