so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just want to make out with him forever
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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