I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
