Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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