Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
