3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
