my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
