the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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