Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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