Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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