I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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