It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
