OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
