I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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