But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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