You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize