for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize