I feel like abortions should bother me more
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
