Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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