Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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