Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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