Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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