Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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