I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
a search helicopter?!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
