I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
