jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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