i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I believe in your delicious
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
