have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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