Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
