The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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