I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
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I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
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If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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