OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
