I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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