and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
