Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
