How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I came so hard my ears popped.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
