yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
