I just threw up on my dentist
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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