K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
