i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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