Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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