So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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