3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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