I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
