Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
