Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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