I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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