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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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