Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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