I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he shaved USA in his pubs
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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