He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
