Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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