Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
