i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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